I once dated a terrible boyfriend. (OK there may have been more than one terrible boyfriend during my dating years but for the purpose of this post let’s focus on this one) Let’s call him Brian. Brian was a ‘once bitten twice shy’ kind of a dude who vaguely promised you a wonderful future while your present time was distinctly underwhelming. On our worst ever date he once cancelled my birthday dinner at the last minute because he wasn’t feeling well. As I sympathised and rounded up the girls to go out I was somewhat surprised to walk into our first stop on the birthday bar crawl and find BRIAN standing there sipping beer with his bestie who needed a last minute LAD’S NIGHT OUT FOR REASONS. Reader I was BOILING MAD yet I carried on dating him because I was sure that tomorrow with just a tad more patience all our dreams would come true. So on we went for several more years.
I worked in HR for over twenty-five years and when recruiting people would remind myself and others it's a two way street. The individual wanted to work with us and we needed their skills. Even when the match wasn’t right, there was no reason to dismiss or ghost someone. Respect and good communication go a long way in my opinion. And I enjoyed being the linchpin that meant even when things didn’t work out, someone walked away feeling it was a positive experience.
I have also had the meeting that should’ve been an email with an agent. I’m kind of relieved to hear it isn’t just me even though it’s very bad behaviour.
It is so often expected that as the writer we are ‘lucky’ to have any of the things we’ve worked for, whether that’s representation or a deal or any of it! I think that’s such a hard mind set to break out of but we all deserve what you have. I’ve had doubts and difficulties and frustrations and it’s often hard to know what is acceptable behavior as no one talks about this stuff! So thanks for sharing.
Happy to share because I find the silent gaslighting really triggering so I’m glad that it helps just to hear you’re not nuts they are bad boyfriends x
I worked in HR for over twenty-five years and when recruiting people would remind myself and others it's a two way street. The individual wanted to work with us and we needed their skills. Even when the match wasn’t right, there was no reason to dismiss or ghost someone. Respect and good communication go a long way in my opinion. And I enjoyed being the linchpin that meant even when things didn’t work out, someone walked away feeling it was a positive experience.
Yes indeed. Costs nothing to be respectful and you never know when you will come across those people again in publishing
NO COMMENT 🤣
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I have also had the meeting that should’ve been an email with an agent. I’m kind of relieved to hear it isn’t just me even though it’s very bad behaviour.
Also, the cover for your new novel is gorgeous 😍
Thanks Naomi. Oh those meetings SUCK. X
It is so often expected that as the writer we are ‘lucky’ to have any of the things we’ve worked for, whether that’s representation or a deal or any of it! I think that’s such a hard mind set to break out of but we all deserve what you have. I’ve had doubts and difficulties and frustrations and it’s often hard to know what is acceptable behavior as no one talks about this stuff! So thanks for sharing.
Happy to share because I find the silent gaslighting really triggering so I’m glad that it helps just to hear you’re not nuts they are bad boyfriends x